I don't know about you but sometimes I loath having to give up certain things for my family or my God. I now it's the right thing to do or I wouldn't do it but today I was in tears because I realize that it is best for my family for me not to attend school this semester and instead take my classes this summer. I know I shouldn't feel so disappointed it just feels like I have been going to school forever and still don't have a degree to show for it.
Even though disappointment consumed me this morning I am starting to feel at peace with my decision I need to be able to take care of my daughter during her first year, we need to get our second car fixed, and the class I need isn't available. I prayed hard hoping that this class would come open and it still hasn't and I only have a few more days to sign up.
But through all of this I realize that my plan for my life is not as important as God's plan for my life. That even though I feel like a failure sometimes, I am not a failure according to my heavenly father. Sometimes I need to think about how he views me instead of how people of this world view me. I need to set my eyes steadfast to heaven not losing sight of my true purpose. The purpose of introducing as many as I can to Christ's love and living fully for him.
So today was a struggle for me in finding my servant's heart. I selfishly want to pursue my own dreams when I know they need to wait. My children and husband come first. So how do I balance it all? Not sure yet! But I am praying that God will guide me.
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